Over the years, I’ve had the honor, privilege and delight of interviewing quite a few people for articles and video work I’ve done. I really love interviewing people and, surprisingly, most are willing to share a lot about themselves.

Even really shy people who are at first reluctant to be interviewed open up when asked the right questions that demonstrate that they’re seen and honored for the person they are.

I recently did a video interview with two alumni of the private school at which I work. At first, the young woman was extremely reluctant to be interviewed. I caught her at a “weak moment,” when she was helping to deliver cabinets she’d helped craft to the school, and she agreed to a short interview. About two weeks later, I went to film B roll at the place she worked. She’d indicated, in advance, that she preferred not to be filmed, but once I got there and said hello, she said, “Sure, you can film me.”

I didn’t ask for an additional interview, not wanting to push her. But after I’d put my camera away, she came up to me and said, “I thought you’d be interested in this,” leafing through a notebook.

I took out my camera, and she proceeded to walk me through a beautifully illustrated notebook in which she had taken extremely detailed notes about the machines she works on. She talked about how important a tool that notebook was to her in learning her trade. She went on to explain how she’d learned the skill of taking illustrated notes at the school she’d attended, and for which I was doing the video. Her candor about that topic perfectly rounded out the rest of the interview.

I often think about how many people there are in our lives–parents, grandparents, and even our children–who are just waiting for the right questions to open up and share their deepest thoughts, experiences, desires, cares and concerns. How many of us have lost people in our lives before ever having had the opportunity to ask those questions?

With Thanksgiving a little more than a month away, think about some of the people with whom you’ll gather and what you might like to know about each. Maybe it’s their time during a war, how they met their spouse, what the most interesting experience of their career was, or who their best childhood friend was and how that person influenced their life. There are probably dozens, maybe hundreds of questions they’d love to answer, and you’d love to know, if only you ask the right question.