First, be gentle with yourself. You probably weren’t trained for this. To take on the caregiver role, there are undoubtedly things you had to learn, or to take over for the first time that may be unfamiliar, or that you’ve never done before. To compound matters, you’re often flying solo in this role. Frequently, these responsibilities, plus medical appointments, are added to your own work, childcare responsibilities, household chores, and other duties, multiplying the load.
Others who aren’t in your position don’t recognize the toll this takes on the caregiver…physically, psychologically, and emotionally. You probably feel sadness and concern. Some days you want to scream, or cry, or laugh hysterically for no reason. Some days you feel as if you’ll lose your temper, other days, your mind. These are all normal and valid emotions.
Few know how difficult being a caregiver can be until they’re in your position. I am one of those people who didn’t understand until I was there too.
Below are some ideas that may help alleviate the stress of being a loving caregiver who’s been stretched too far:
- Have a trusted friend you can call, who will listen without judgment, and with whom you can share your feelings, even if it’s to curse or cry.
- Journal about your feelings and the challenges you face, to let it out.
- Try meditation to calm the agitation within.
- Carefully consider what you might do to simplify life–hire a lawn company, buy pre-made meals, put regular bills on auto pay, ask a nurse for additional training, hire help, ask family member for more support.
- Remind yourself that some things can wait or simply don’t need to be done.
- Find someone who will watch the person to whom you’re giving care for an hour or three so you can take some well-deserved time away.
- Pamper yourself in some way that speaks to you, such as reading, gardening, listening to music, fishing, baking, crafting, or whatever gives you joy and respite.
- Ask for help when you need it. No one will think less of you, and you probably appear so competent, few know you are struggling and could use assistance.
Out on a Limb 