I don’t know how many other women have this struggle, but I often feel that it’s about as easy to find a Valentine’s gift for a guy as it would be to find a beanie for a buffalo.

Most men are not easy to shop for…unless you happen to be a millionairess and can buy him a sports car, a yacht or a football team. Tragically, I missed the big bucks boat.

Part of my challenge is that my husband is a serial hobbyist. He picks up a hobby, and I think, “Oh good! Now I’ll have presents to buy him!”

Of course, once I buy those gifts and they’re squirreled away in my gift hiding cubby, he’s on to his next hobby, Those presents are as obsolete as stilettos in a barnyard.

I’ve learned my lesson and did not jump on his Queen’s Gambit-inspired chess craze, which caused him to buy, and/or ask for and receive no less than eleven chess boards and sets for Christmas. He now has ample supply to run his own chess tournament at the next food truck rodeo.

So thinking about one thing he really loves, I investigated a pie-of-the-month club gift. Brilliant idea except that the pies were only eighteen times more expensive than making them, seven times more costly than buying them in the supermarket, and twice as much as at any self-respecting PTA fundraising pie sale would charge. I actually briefly considered it until checkout. What they didn’t warn you about is that, with each delivery, you also buy a humongous slice of the Fedex delivery truck.

So then I turned to another favorite gifting site. I feel I should warn you that if you search on “gift ideas for men” on Etsy, you’ll believe the only things men are interested in are T-shirts, sex, fishing, hunting, grilling, sex and knives. And did I mention sex?

So on I went to Amazon, where I found slightly more variety. One of the first gifts that jumped out at me was a big, jerky-filled heart. Come to think of it, I’ve actually known a  few guys who could be accused of having cornered the market on those (minus the ‘y’ at the end of jerky).

Or how about LED flashlight gloves?  Hmmm… why does the Big Bang Theory come to mind where short nerdy guys are dressed like superheroes pretending to shoot lasers from their fingers?

One of my favorites was the beard apron, but since my husband’s never had facial hair, the only use I could imagine for this was either a very large lobster dinner, or sloping it on to the table, and allowing small rodent-like creatures to use it as an amusement park slide. But since said rodents would be our cat’s meow mix, not a five star choice in our house.

There was one additional gift I found intriguing since I still have no clue about its purpose. An Amazon #1 Best Seller in the Barware Tool Sets category, these bullet-shaped cylinders come in a wooden box, sit in a circular container that looks a lot like a poker chips holder, and apparently also float in your drink, to cool it down. P.S. They may also be used to give guests the message that they’ve overstayed their welcome.

So here I am, ten days out from Valentine’s Day, and still no closer than I was before the hunt to find a good gift for my guy.  I guess I need to ratchet up my ingenuity quotient before I’ll be able to do a Valentine’s Victory lap.

Somehow, by the end of said fruitless search, I got thinking about the time in college when our French class decided to exchange Secret Santa gifts, and I pulled  the Professor’s name.

I turned to my friend across the aisle, showed whose name I pulled, and said, “Uh oh. I’m in trouble.”

After all, what do you get the priest who has everything?