In an effort to improve the feng shui of my house, I recently decided to declutter.  Wikipedia defines Feng shui as a “traditional practice originating from ancient China, which claims to use energy forces to harmonize individuals with their surrounding environment.”

I  definitely need a little harmonizing about now, but  that clutter seems to understand the laws of physics better than I do, because those bodies of clutter that were at rest around the house are mostly still in place, and not at rest curbside ready to enhance the feng shui of the garbage truck.

The other issue with clutter is that it tends to derive energy from memories ensconced within. Once you disturb that energy by moving the clutter, it’s as if you’ve awoken Mulan’s sparring Fa Family ancestors.

“What? You’re going to throw out that lovely brown sweater I knitted for you 30 plus years ago?” asks Mom’s outraged voice within my head.

“You’re worried about a sweater?! What about that patchwork quilt she’s put on the discard pile?  I hand-sewed it more than 70 years ago, made from my family’s most beloved shirts and dresses? How can she throw that out?!” asks Great Aunt Louise, seemingly as upset with Mom as with me.

Mom again, “Your quilt’s got rips in the fabric. It’s not even that warm anymore!”

“Your sweater’s got pulls – and she never did find buttons to put on it!” fires back Great Aunt Louise, eager to have the last word.

Their voices quiet as I appease them by laying the sweater and quilt gently back in their storage chest.

Even my daughters have come under this influence. Danielle is redecorating her room. In order to paint, she decided to get rid of her collection of 547 stuffed animals. She bravely put them in bags and carted them off to donate. When she returned, her six foot bear was in the passenger seat.

“I left him sitting on the pile, and when I looked back, he looked so sad…. I just couldn’t bear to leave him. Besides, Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bobby gave him to me.”

I guess some things just have too much feng in their shui to be decluttered.

Originally published in the July 30, 2020 issue of Beyond the Nest’s free weekly newsletter focused on arts, culture and recreation.