Have you ever noticed the look in their eye when spouses approach with news they know you won’t want to hear?

They have a certain walk…kind of hunkered down, like a gun slinger on Metamucil. They size you up to see if you’re ready for the news (you never are), plant hands on hips, wait a moment, then shoot out, “I want to cut 50% of the meat from our diet.”

This, from the man who’s the poster boy for every steak house in town

As frothy annoyance bubbles up toward anger, I excuse myself to go shower in order to keep from morphing into Ursela, the Sea Witch.

Now why does this perplex me? Because over the years, I have spent more time swapping menus for said husband than Chef Ramsey has spent swapping insults.

I should mention my husband’s idea of cooking is popcorn. With salt. And no butter.

Okay, I exaggerate. That was pre-marriage. The occasional grits, scrambled eggs and grilled steak have since crept into his repertoire.

As cascading water pummels the Sea Witch out of me, I arrive at a solution.

“So, I have a proposal,” I announce marching into the living room. “I’ll make one meatless dinner per week, if you make the second. And it can’t be popcorn.”

To my delight, he agreed!  He even began sifting through cookbooks for recipes.

Wednesday of the following week, he proudly produced an entree of eggs, grits and cheese. As we finished, he humbly noted, “This probably would have been better as a side dish.”

In week two of his cooking adventure: Broccoli and Tuna Casserole with Cheese.  For week three: Grilled Steak. Are you seeing a pattern here?

Happily, Ursula the Sea Witch, being blatantly ecstatic to get a night off from cooking, didn’t even tease him about the fact that steak looked and tasted an awful lot like meat.