How I Lost My Husband

I have to admit, it was probably my own fault, but I really didn’t see it coming. It was Christmas day four years ago when I first introduced them.  I should have realized the way he looked at her spelled trouble.It happened slowly, little by little at first, so I barely noticed the difference. Initially, he was his same attentive self, but slowly I noticed his attention wandering more and more.

Before she appeared, we did things together – sometimes dancing or plays, movies or art exhibits, dinner out….Soon though, she seemed to have him mesmerized.

The thing is, I wouldn’t have suspected how spellbound he would become, because she really wasn’t his type …flat in front, but broad, and not really that much to look at, until…. Then, there was no contest.

As far as I could tell, she couldn’t actually do much. Oh she could talk a fine tune about cooking, and she could share all the best recipes by all the most reputable chefs, but you wouldn’t catch her near a frying pan or stove. And she was a wealth of knowledge on fashion, home décor and remodeling, real estate, and any other number of subjects, but heaven forbid she should actually make a move.

The thing is, I just couldn’t compete with her ability to talk about almost any topic ….politics or science, finances or even weather patterns. When she went on and on about news or science fiction, he could barely take his eyes off her. How’s any woman supposed to compete with that?!

When you lose your husband, it’s a nasty little secret you try to hide from friends. But eventually, they pick up on it. You can only offer lame excuses for so long when you’ve both been invited to dinner or a party and only one of you shows up. Eventually it becomes obvious that you’ve been thrown over by another.

So, if I had it to do over again, I would never have brought that d- -n widescreen TV into our home.